I'm like a pencil;
sometimes sharp,
most days
well-rounded,
other times
dull or
occasionally
broken.
Still I write.
j.g. lewis
is a writer/photographer in Toronto.
Category: Uncategorised
It is vast, and unblemished, maybe even uninteresting, at first.
At the beginning of the day, to the naked eye, it is nothing more than a vacant page, or space between the lines. Upon closer inspection, it is anything but.
A page lies as open as an eye. This is my landscape. You see white space; I see themes and dreams, and possibility. The view changes, as does my mind, by the minute, moment-to-moment, year to fear, as each day becomes each day, and I am still here.
The landscape changes, oft times like a blur through a car window. It’s like that when you travel forward. Look closely at what you see, take note of the spared indifference to what is, and what could be. This is more than my breath, voice, thoughts, leftovers or left behinds. It is more than indulgence and possessions.
It is there for a reason.
This is a world of secrets in a universe of sounds. It contains sins and silence, handily left for obsessive thoughts, and action. I know no discomfort, or a source for objective reasoning, so it should be as it flows, and like any great adventure you are never aware when it stops. There are no endings.
It is not about anything, or could be about everything. It is my landscape.
As permanent as chalked messages on a sidewalk, as indelible as DNA, there is something here than need not be understood, but it can be. And should. If you take the time, take what is mine, and read between the lines to see what might matter now to you, or me.
This is my landscape. It may not all be personal, but it is intimate, and available. It is not a complete picture, but it is honest. It is here to entertain and inform, even advise, but take my words with a grain of fault, for there is nothing more human than a human being struggling to exist. I do both; struggle, and exist.
This is my landscape, even when it is all mixed up. I might say some things now and then I am now only trying to comprehend, and admittedly there is naivety, as I want to learn, to know, to understand. So it goes from society’s distinct or damaged black and white to every Kodachrome colour that is, sadly, missing in this day and age. I use the past only as a reference, and not a regret; I have none; I can’t, at least not yet.
Judge me not by my words or what I believe, take nothing for granted, if you know what I mean. Beneath all adventures, or even my stillness, is a strong inner voice. Not by purchase and not by choice. My blood boils with anger, and terror, and compassion. And love. I have a purpose, with promise, thoughts ever full of hope, evermore. Finding momentum to even my most dormant dreams I break it down again, and again.
Again. These are my eyes.
There is no revolution, not right now. Perhaps, maybe, there will be, for someone, somewhere else, a person to show something new about you, or your inner being. It may not be me, but keep reading, to see.
This is my landscape. These are my dreams.
© 2016 j.g. lewis
The light follows wherever she goes. Constant. In each apartment
or home, the aquarium’s glow casts shadows into her days, and
her nights. Most times comforting, the hum of the pump,
its gentle bubbles rising to the surface, has become
the white noise of even her darkest days.
Controlled. There is life contained within the glass walls, fish
with a purpose, providing motion when everything else becomes still.
And silent. People come and people go. Some stay for a while,
becoming little more than lovers. She remained a convenience,
a receptacle for ego, anger, and lust.
She knew her demands would eventually push them away. She asked
for so little, and cared for so much. No exit from the outside,
survival requires time. The aquarium has few demands,
save fresh water, food, and oxygen. Simplicity.
Why aren’t all other relationships so easily sustained?
Men required more attention and could not respect who she was, or
accept what they were offered. Fools. She didn’t ask much, except
to be loved. And they moved on. Or she did. Another home,
the same furniture, anxiety and a few less memories, boxes of stuff
collected through the years, and the aquarium.
Loneliness follows her everywhere. Unrelenting. She thought she felt love,
and it destroyed all she knew. Stars now cry on hot summer nights and
the flowers simply stand there. Stillness. The aquarium provides the
only sign of life, the only beauty she continually acknowledges,
because it can be controlled.
©2014 j.g. lewis
