Deception

We want to know what
we don’t know, or hadn’t thought of,
or forgot.

What mattered then,
or what mattered when, shifts over time.
We notice.

Perception is what you don’t see.
Deception is what know.
You see it differently through your aloneness.

The truth behind a lie,
you question how and why.
It made sense.

Anticipation keeps us waiting
for only so long. Will it matter
if you felt it never did?

 

© 2021 j.g. lewis

The Obscenity Of Silence

What happens to the sleep we didn’t get,
words we did not heed, or tears never allowed
to travel down our cheek?
                          Those weeks, or months,
you refuse to speak of; what happened?
Then.
                         What became
of the people we didn’t need, or like,
or replaced? Have you given any thought to
what you meant to them? Once upon a time
fairy tale or delusion.
Shared.
                        Then, remember
the personalities or prospects,
the ones where you didn’t have the self-respect
to introduce yourself to.
                        Where was your confidence,
                        or willingness to bare your soul?
                Easier, is it not, to confide in a stranger?
Those familiar with your ways,
those who have read a few chapters of your story
may not understand
your reservation.
                                                    Someone back when
                       knew you well, wanted to know more,
                       then gave up.
Or was that you?
                       Emotions enrich our lives,
                       as easily as they can destroy
                       all we stay alive for.
           Is that a reason to hold back?
There was once value in vulnerability.
Now; well, you know.
          If you rephrase the question,
          are the answers still the same?
                       Long past a series of coincidences,
                           the obscenity of silence remains.

 

© 2018 j.g. lewis

 

 

morning thoughts 5:19 a.m.

Yesterday did not go as planned.
   I had things to do – things I needed to do – that simply did not get done.
   Lately, many days have been like that. More than I care to admit.
   Some days I fail to see all that I have.
   Other days I’m unsure where I am going, even when I try to adjust my
way of thinking or alter my direction.
   When I struggle with all this negativity, I don’t (or can’t) take into
consideration the many good things that I possess.
   I’m too caught up in the emotional traffic and feelings of anger that
rise up from the disappointment that I can’t focus on the task at hand.
   I don’t think I’m unique.
   I believe we all have things we want to accomplish.
   We don’t all struggle. Few of us admit we are nowhere near where
we need to be. None of us are perfect.
   I am flawed.
   Some days I can’t quite see past all the imperfections, but still
   I will keep trying.
   I don’t want today to simply turn into yesterday.