by Deb Stidham Avery

My dear, you are a most brave, kind and awesome being.

When your mother threw away the little bunch of wildflowers you picked for her, stating that they were only weeds, it was only because she failed to see their worth.

When others laughed at you, and still do, for your deep love of all beings, it was because they were not capable of seeing the beauty and intelligence in all things.

When your husband belittled and controlled it was because he did not appreciate your true worth, the intricacies of your beautiful mind, or the beauty and depth of your heart.

It’s never about you, my dear. It’s always been about them.

Each time someone says or does something hurtful, remember that.

It is not about you, your intelligence, your worth and your compassionate heart. Instead, it is always about them.

It’s about all the times they were hurt, ridiculed or neglected. It’s about all the past hurts in their lives that caused them to close their hearts and minds. It’s not about you and your openness, your deep empathy and your ability to see all sides of the situation.

Instead of armoring your heart and mind, you chose to open them to the pain and heartaches and the interconnectedness of all that is around you. That, my dear, takes courage, trust, and lots of love and compassion.

Don’t you dare let the words, thoughts and actions of others cause you a moment’s pain. You know better than this. You’ve spent your whole life learning that we all travel through life with different levels of consciousness. And you know that this is just how life works.

It has nothing to do with you, my dear, and everything to do with them; their perceptions and the experiences that have shaped their lives.

Love and forgive them because of what you have learned. They have traveled a different pathway. They have experienced life differently from you.

Now, dry your tears and always remember these two things.

You are a beautiful, intelligent and loving being.

And it’s never about you, dear heart, and always about them.

©2018 Deb Stidham Avery
Deb Stidham Avery lives in a small rural community in the South with her best friend Sam, the dog. She is often found walking in the woodlands, gardening, reading, listening to music and writing. It has been through her writing that she has found healing, hope and grace. She hopes that by sharing her experiences and insights with others, in hopes that they too may find peace, acceptance and help in dealing with the problems and traumas that life can sometimes deal us all. She currently writes for The Tattooed Buddha and has written for Sivana, Wake Magazine and elephant journal.