Mythos & Marginalia

2015 – 2025: a decade of days


  • Wealth Walks And Poverty Sleeps

     

    _MG_1092

    _MG_9198

    _MG_9526

    It speaks of history, arts and culture,
    and the ever-changing socio-economic
    trends. A longtime destination, Toronto’s
    Queen Street West is more than just a
    street, and far more than a neighborhood.
    Retail rules in a curious blend of
    commercial and residential, everything
    and anyone is out on the street. Musicians
    perform for passing strangers, artists show
    their craft, and crafters show their wares.
    Poets offer words to those who will listen,
    and fashion is right there; in stores or on
    the people. Ethnicities mix, and cultures
    collide, in food and drink or otherwise. It’s
    cool in the clubs, late night on the street,
    shoppers shop, and everyone eats.
    Wealth walks and poverty sleeps.

    _MG_9514

    _MG_9326_MG_9463IMG_0739

     IMG_0724IMG_0758_MG_0097

    _MG_1045

    _MG_1168_MG_9560_MG_9577IMG_0579_MG_9184IMG_0713

    _MG_9064

    _MG_9470

    _MG_9010

    _MG_9225

    IMG_1540

    _MG_2691

    _MG_9167

    _MG_9480

    _MG_9247

    _MG_9014

    IMG_0716_MG_3220_MG_9280

    _MG_3167_MG_3198IMG_1150IMG_1155

     _MG_9781 _MG_9604_MG_9594-1_MG_1396_MG_3379IMG_1175

    IMG_2259IMG_1177_MG_1806_MG_2062_MG_2002_MG_1438_MG_1417_MG_1228

    _MG_1800

    _MG_2441

    _MG_1827

    _MG_2181_MG_2416
    _MG_3486

  • Beyond The Dreams

    _MG_3293

        Just before four
          Or just after
    Half moon on the midway
        Floodlights dimmed
    Excitement gone with the crowd
      The Ferris wheel rests
        For the night
           A time
          When a stranger
         May more likely meet
                  A knife
              Than a smile
       When the power of the sun is
     Nowhere to be seen
     Nowhere known
        Yet the heat is still present
    Persistent
       Reflected and refracted
       From downtown concrete
               The air humid
                   Dark
    Suffocating
                      Blocks away
           A high-rise set amongst the clouds
    Above the quiet
            Of long-gone crowds
    Lovers unite
               Dissolve against
                  One another
     Sensual shivers
      In spite of the heat
          Sweat on the brow
     Sweat on the sheets
          Awake or
       Awaken
       What it was
                      It still is
      Even the distance knows
         Still in the city
    Still is not calm
        Humanity tucked away from it all
      Asleep
       Others are not
    Tormented souls wander the night
           Confounded by loneliness
                       Emptiness
                  Worthlessness
        Restless youth
           Careless and not knowing
    Where they should be
       Where they are
             Silent as a shadow
                 And just as flat
      They wait temporarily
      Time
          After Time
       Just after four
    Or just before
          Someone smiles like a knife
       Someone
    Tonight will fall
                Beyond the dreams that lovers hold
           Beyond the dreams they once were sold
             Out of time
      Out of place
    Out of synch with the human race
          Lives now dimmed or cower
      Out of sight
    Out of morals
      Out of light
              Unsuspecting souls
         Who know no fate
           Will soon make certain
       An unknown place
    Beyond the silence
      Beyond the sight
         Someone else
             Will fall tonight
                     When lovers dissolve
                 When lovers unite

    ©2015 j.g. lewis

  • Not All Black And White

    _MG_2842 - Version 2

    “The single most important component of a camera is the twelve inches behind it.”
                                                                                                                                           – Ansel Adams

    I grew up in a black and white world.

    The first television images I can remember flashed from a behemoth black and white screen, but all media, at the time, were mainly black, white, and the shades between.

    A newspaper, then the real source of news, was filled with glorious photographs capturing history as it happened. Even magazines were mostly black and white (images from LIFE magazine instantly flash in my head), and were for years. Outside of the occasional cover, the early Rolling Stone (then a tabloid, at first, without staples) photos were mostly black and white.

    Significant moments are fixed in our collective psyche; the Kennedy assassination, fists raised symbolizing black power on the medal podium at the ‘68 Olympics, John and Yoko’s Bed-in for Peace, Nixon leaving the White House by helicopter, even Kurt Cobain’s memorial images from the ‘90s, all black and white.

    Family snapshots in colour eventually came into our home, but the first adorable images of me in my high chair, or standing in front of the fireplace with my siblings, are recorded for posterity in black and white.

    As the years and decades progressed, with advancements in the photographic world, film and equipment shifted towards colour. Black and white was still what attracted me to photography. About age 10, I made my first contact print with a DIY photography kit my mother found at a church rummage sale. It was like performing magic. I discovered I could make a photograph, and a passion was ignited.

    Capturing images took over my imagination. I knew I wanted to be a photographer. I used to sneak off with my dad’s 35 mm. I volunteered as a yearbook photographer in junior-high school as an excuse to use his equipment. I fell in love with the camera.

    My professional experience working with film began at age 16 when I secured a summer job working as a studio lackey. I did the stuff nobody else wanted to do, changing darkroom chemicals and hauling equipment around. I photographed products (cans of vegetables, boxes of wrenches, packages of underwear, spark plugs) on a medium-format camera, but mainly worked in the studio darkroom reproducing other people’s work for the advertising agencies and accounts the high-volume studio contracted with.

    Many a workday was spent in the muted amber-tinted darkness, and I loved it. I felt a part of it all. I honed my darkroom skills so by the time I was hired as a photographer with a daily newspaper; I had that part of my act down pat.

    The darkroom is the other side of photography — the part fewer and fewer people know about — taking the image from a negative and putting on the paper.

    Most of my newspaper work was in black and white. Colour then, at a medium-sized daily broadsheet, was reserved for special editions and, of course, advertising. Colour photography, to me, has always seemed cold and calculated, where black and white has a soul, with textures and temperaments than can be seen and felt.

    Many of my favorite images are still black and white; Adams’ landscapes, Walker Evans and Robert Doisneau’s glimpses of real life in earlier times, Jean-Perre Laffont’s view of an era more familiar, the surrealism of Man Ray, and the fashionable cutting-edge eroticism of Helmet Newton. Even my favorite album covers are monochrome; London Calling by the Clash, Patti Smith’s Horses (early Robert Mapplethorpe photography) and Springsteen’s Born To Run. I still, for inspiration, will leaf through the National Press Photographer’s Association annuals.

    When you work with a camera long enough, as you begin to see the world in black and white, it becomes a part of you. You know what each lens can do and which camera body to count on in certain situations. ‘F8 and be there’ was the standard mantra. You become friends with light, learning the traits and tendencies and how it will attach itself to your film.

    My first SLR camera had nothing automatic. It wasn’t until the late 70s when Nikon introduced automatic metering, but by this time I knew how to read light and never used the settings. The difference between correct exposure, many times, went back and forth between an f stop and an F word.

    And lenses? There was nothing automatic about them. Manual focus, and you had to be fast. Zoom lenses were available, but the quality was never there. For that reason you carried a canvas bag stuffed with a handful of fixed-focal-length lenses. Equipment was made of metal, aluminum, and glass. Motor drives were an add-on. Size was size, it didn’t matter, and it came with a weight. You hold a deep appreciation for a certain era of photographer when you look back on older Sports Illustrated magazines, knowing that everything captured was captured honestly. It was slight of hand, intuition, and having the right eye.

    I left the newspaper as the world began whispering digital. First-generation digital imaging had just arrived at the newspaper, and we had to then scan actual negatives into the computer.

    Almost a decade later, in an effort to get back to photography, I purchased a digital body. I played with it a bit, but it mostly sat and collected dust. I made a point, through 2008, to use the camera, each and every day. I fiddled around, marveled at what it could do, though I never took it seriously. I never took it to the next level.

    I even spent a weekend learning, in an intensive workshop, Apple’s Aperture software. It was more my lack of hands-on computer skills, than darkroom knowledge, that held me back. Learning the digital darkroom was important to me as I knew the wet darkroom so well, and believed you have to know both aspects of photography for it to be a craft, or an art.

    Yet, I never full embraced digital photography until this year. Along with producing images for this site, there was this burning need to take it further. In the cooler months I set a goal, a simple photo essay, which would allow me to explore a topic and become more familiar with my equipment.

    Plenty of hours have been spent on this project over the past six months. Now in the ‘darkroom’ stage, it will find space here in the coming weeks.

    I’ve learned a lot about photography, and more about myself, through this focus on what I enjoy. What I found, mostly, was that the change was not so much in equipment and but in mindset.

    Black and white was comfort for me. I knew film and paper, what it had to do and what I wanted it to do (not always the same ting). Shooting an assignment or subject, I always saw the potential image in black and white. You learn, intrinsically, to adjust for skin tone, or artificial and low light, and you come to understand the limitations of the equipment and the media, and your work within.

    It was easy, or became easy, in black and white. It seemed organic.

    Digital is different. Totally. It felt synthetic, or artificial, and it was uncomfortable, at first.

    Yes, there is the B&W setting, but digital photography, now like life itself, screams colour. Digital is immediate. The image you create is right there, immediately. You can see what you have captured on a tiny screen at the rear of the camera. There is no waiting the hours or days to get back to the darkroom.

    Your work is present, in full colour, in the now. And the camera has become a piece of technology, not just a metal case to shield sensitive film from the light. Even lenses are vastly improved. They are faster, smoother, more flexible, and they can make life easier.

    With these changes, you have to think differently. First thoughts are still on form and composition, but a photograph is now — like money, movies, and memory — all about digits. It is no longer about film grain and speed, but pixels and ISO. It is, from the start, more adaptable, perhaps even more suitable to today’s hectic pace. Digital is clean; certainly nowhere near as messy as what photography used to be (I can’t tell you how many good shirts have been ruined by caustic darkroom chemicals), and it now easier to package, to share, and to send.

    Digital is not better (far too subjective a term) but just is what it is.

    I had to get my head around that, and do so by thinking of my past work as black and white, my new work in colour. Digital, to me, is colour. Digital is efficient, therefore, digital may be more challenging.

    This has inspired me to look deeper, to think a littler harder, at how to make the equipment work and how to make a photograph. I suppose I’ve warmed up to colour. Again, as it was decades ago when I was caught up in the magic of photography, I find myself today wanting to learn more about what it, and I, can do.

    Indeed, it is digital, and it is different, but — as it has always been for me — it is still magic, and it is still about discovery.

    “The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”
                                                                                                                                        – Marcel Proust

    _MG_9533

  • A Tear

     

    _MG_1269

    I shed a tear today,
    one for myself, and one
    for others. I shed a tear
    on behalf of my brother.
    My sister, I know,
    will shed many of her own,
    but I shed one anyway,
    so it be known.
    A tear to remind me,
    again, of my father, a
    bigger one then
    for my dear caring mother.
    I shed a tear also
    for someone unknown,
    but I read today
    how the flowers have grown.
    I shed a tear
    for those in pain, and for those
    who cannot love again.
    I shed a tear for
    a missing child, I
    shed a tear for
    my missing wild.
    I shed a tear, knowing,
    I must
    be stronger,
    knowing I may need
    to shed them
    a little while longer.
    I shed a tear
    as I try
    to be kinder, every
    tear I shed a constant
    reminder.
    I shed a tear
    and then realize
    how a tear reminds us
    why
    we have eyes.

    © 2015 j.g. lewis

  • Daily Reminders Of What You Are

     

    Enlight1-1

         Self-actualization is bullshit.

    I wrote this down about a year-and-a-half ago, an entry in my agenda. I do that, scribble out a thought, each day. It’s part of my process, not of writing, but of being a human being.

    Each day this thought, or quote, or collection of words, becomes a mantra. It is something to think about, up and above all the blessings and ballyhoo one may encounter as we walk on this planet. The words provide a focus. Some people are more apt to select a sonnet, or psalm, or lesson from Buddha or Paramahansa Yogananda (I’ve written down a few of those), but I’m more likely to ponder a Pete Townsend or John Hiatt lyric, or a slice of graffiti sprayed under a bridge, as I am a random retrospection.

    I’ve been a quote collector for decades, but didn’t really start writing them down until January 2013, as I was partway through this period of evolution (a much sexier word than change). Some of the words have, and will, appear on this screen, as a daily breath . . . others remain personal reminders, only to my self. It’s a part of being here.

    Over the past few years these valuable offerings and observations have included;

         I know nothing.                                                  Things are going to get easier              
         I learn everything.
                                                What happened to faith and patience?
                                                                                                                           Do no harm
               If the moon whispers . . . listen                                                 but take no shit
                                                Put everything you have
                                                into everything you do.
                                                                                           If you roll like thunder
                  Infuse your muse                                       You’ll crash like lightening

    Each word, each day, provides a moment or two of reflection. I establish my truth, I go about my life, and then do it all again the next day. It is my route towards improvement, becoming more aware of my self and others, and being a better person.

    The ‘self-actualization is bullshit’ entry strikes a chord, right now. Then, on that day, it was written in anger. Then, some days, anger was a common mood. Now it serves as a reminder of where I was, and an emotion that no longer serves me.

    The course of change is focused mostly, or at first, on eliminating nasty habits. As your personal revolution continues, you find reason to drop the insidious envy, and fear, and doubt, and traits no longer useful. Yes, there are periods of grief that offer repose, and it comes in moments when you realize your addictions and afflictions are not of substance, but of ego and attitude.

    As you move closer toward your intended purpose, you chose not to let the weight of the past knock you down, and foster a gentler, simpler approach. It’s not that life is simple, but it can be broken down into more manageable portions.

    Yes, the principles of self-actualization do come into play, and not all of it is bunkum. On any given day, you will find yourself facing the bitterest of truths and the need to do so.

    Abraham Maslow, in his hierarchy of needs, sets self-actualization at the top of the pyramid. The basics of food, shelter, and security are all required before you can self-actualize, as is the sense of belongingness and the need to be good.

    As you struggle to get a grasp on the real world, it’s easy to get stuck on the need to be good.

    Good. Now, there’s one hell of a confusing word; totally subjective, and there are so many interpretations. You can be good at something, and strive to be better, but how good is good? Are you ever good enough? The good I speak of is not demonstrated proficiency in your craft, profession, or pursuit, but rather the goodness that wends its way through your ribcage and runs along your sole to the core of your existence.

    This good is more of feeling, and of truth. For with the act or path of goodness, you must be able to give yourself freely to a community, to love, to care, to show empathy and forgiveness. Goodness — and it cannot be demonstrated in some brash or vainglorious manner — is to accept your self in the most human way and, more so, accept and believe in others.

    When you can find comfort there, in yourself and with others, you know you are good. It is the realization of this goodness that will allow you (physically, spiritually and emotionally) to achieve your goals and to arrive at this place.

    I suppose I am still looking for the place, but I seem to be finding contentment in where I am. It hasn’t been an easy journey (is anything that is worth pursuing?) and it has taken hundreds of yoga classes, a temple’s worth of candles, 238 (or 241) pencils, and a carton of scribblers, journals and wrinkled scraps of paper.

    It has taken great thought, and it takes daily reminders of where you want to be, and what you are. You need to be honest, you need get past the bullshit and do what has to be done, but most of all you need to be there to get there.

    Show up
    Tell the truth
    Risk everything

    © 2015 j.g. lewis