Mythos & Marginalia

life notes between the lines and along the edges

  • the why and while

    We do what we do until we are comfortable doing it.

       Uncomfortable, at first, it is a desire to realize our intention that pulls us through the process. 

       We try; we keep trying. Seeking satisfaction, we keep doing what we do. We may feel we are up to the task, but often wonder why. 

       Oh, the wonder of it all.

       It takes a while to see results, but they are of less concern than the why and while it takes. It is doing more than seeing and being more than believing. 

       When it comes to anything, you need not ask yourself what you are doing or even why you need to do it. Instead, ask yourself what need it satisfies.

    © 2024 j.g. lewis

     

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  • right here

    Summer’s shifting shade does little to shield us

    from the obvious. Heat, humidity, a melting pot 

    of humanity. Deep in the city.

    Our landscapes deteriorate, neighbourhoods in

    decline, as we strive to cope with this evolution.  

     

    Distended discomfort, rarely placated by fashion,

    or politics, or the indifference of it all. Signs and

    symbols cannot be ignored.

    Boundaries erode between what we know and all 

    we have still to learn. Ignorance takes its place.

     

    Respect the culture. Significance has its way of 

    seeping into common view, shrouding every day 

    with language we speak. 

    Unknowingly at first, style and substance reach 

    beyond all we are capable of understanding. Or try.

     

    Routinely we attempt to quench our deep thirst for 

    something more. Once exotic, even erotic, now

    commonplace. Right here.

    The sense of self hungers for a piece of it all, but

    we fear what we do not know, say, or hear.

     

    History, yes, but is the old lost on vagabonds or 

    restless teenagers caught up in the seismic shift 

    of popular culture? Questions. 

    Answers may not be found in bastardized language

    we have come to speak, by destiny more than design.

     

    No longer defined by geography, topography or 

    empathy, our interpretation of cities, as we age,

    disrupts our views of ourselves.

    Will others see what so very few of us will realize?

    Individually, as a community, we all must change.

     

    © 2024 j.g. lewis

     

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  • Satisfying a certain desire

    Over the past couple of months, just before summer blessed us with its presence, I’ve been painting, or sketching; illustrating where I am, or have been.

    I’ve been doing it because I can — more in terms of the time I have, rather than the talent — pretty much daily. It is what I need to do…I feel, or I think. 

    So I do.

    I have been painting every summer since the pandemic set in. Didn’t we all seem to have a little extra time when our worlds seem to shut down, and we became more socially isolated?

    August 2020 marks the beginning of what I call my practice of ‘non-judgemental art’. Every couple of days, through the entire month, I’d climb on my bike and ride to the lakeshore where I painted what is now an overly familiar scene. I found it interesting how the same tree, nearby lake and distant island could appear so different each time I returned. Influenced by the sunshine, clouds, and even one day rain, I began to observe differently than I have in the past.

    The next summer I took up oil painting (again). It had been years since I messed around with linseed oil, and more permanent pigment than the watercolours or acrylics I have dabbled in over the years. I took oil painting lessons once, maybe as a teenager, but found the medium took a lot more patience than I had at the time. It was messy. 

    Then, I was not old enough to appreciate the studied application of oil on canvas, so I stepped away thinking it would be something I would pick up when I was an adult, or I was older.

    I guess, a few years back I realized I was now older (still not “mature”).

    With all that’s’ been happening, and as I’m slowly preparing to move away from Toronto, and as all my art supplies have been packed away, I still felt the need to paint. It is, after all, summer.

    So, I bought a set of watercolours and an assortment of papers, then some crayons, and pastels: simple stuff, I thought, that would summon both my enthusiasm and ever-present desire to create. Since then, the pages of my journal have been more filled with “art” as opposed to poetry and the rants and ramblings that come with writing every damn day.

    The paint, in many ways, is satisfying a certain desire.

    I try not to overthink it; which is what I pretty much do with anything: think. I over think. I experiment with styles and mediums (on a more recent trip to an art supply store I purchased India Ink with a pen and nib) and began to let the moments take me where I feel I need to go.

    It is silently satisfying, even meditative. It is, at its core, self-care (or self-love), and self-discovery; at least nurturing a restless soul.

    It is nothing like what I imagined: it is more.

    I am reminded, again ,of a realization I came to almost a decade ago: Art is not the result, it’s the reason.

    For me, art is not about chasing perfection or meeting expectations. Art is more about spending time with your self. That’s important. It matters.

    Art matters.

     

    © 2024 j.g. lewis

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  • Finding the purpose

    The card makes it look so easy.

       A handout, with detailed instructions, entitled HOW TO MEDITATE provides a step-by-step guide to mindful meditation, listing the many common benefits on the reverse side.

       I have tried to meditate in the past; I’ve made a conscious effort to calm myself, and clear my mind, but never have I been able to achieve the intended results. I retrieved the card from the tiny little neighbourhood library thinking these instructions would be more useful than those I have attempted in the past.

       This card, or this style of meditation suggested using a chair, in a quiet spot where I won’t be disturbed, for a few minutes. It appealed to me because I could never ger comfortable in a cross-legged position for any length of time. Despite my ability (and enough flexibility) to conquer the 26 postures and two breathing exercises required of Bikram yoga, folding my legs into a criss-cross pattern has forever been uncomfortable for me.

         So, grounding myself in a chair should not present any problem. I thought. I can surely get comfortable for, at least, the five minutes suggested as the starting point for this style of meditation. I thought.

       After sitting comfortably in a chair, the instructions to FOCUS ON BREATH seemed easy. The breathing I have pretty much mastered through significant dedication to a continued yoga practice some years back. Again, I am reminded to focus on my prana, and feel the breath going in and out, my chest rising and falling with my thoughts.

       It is the thoughts I seem to have trouble with. 

       Step 5 on the card says to NOTICE THOUGHTS THAT ARISE which is quite the opposite to yoga, where I have spent enough time in savasana to know that resting in a supine position is a more beneficial place to release thoughts that clutter the mind. If a thought arrives, I’ve been taught to let it go and release it with my breath.

       Even the 9-step meditation guide instructs me CALMLY LET THOUGHTS PASS AND COME BACK TO THE PRESENT, so what should I do with the thoughts I feel I need to meditate on?

       A conundrum, indeed. Confusing, at least.

       But it is only for five minutes, to start. It’s not a lot of time, and when I think of it, I’ve been able to sit for hours at my computer, or my desk, or in a coffee shop. So, maybe, using a chair for meditation makes sense.

       Though it doesn’t feel productive, to me.

       I have always thought my thoughts were better put to use writing, or thinking, or composing poetry. I can even sit in a car in traffic (for much longer) and let my thoughts flow, even my anger, as the congestion that has become downtown Toronto truly tests my patience.

       Patience is not one of my strong suits, and this search for wholeness, authenticity, guidance and mindfulness will surely test me. It already has.

       Still, I try. And I keep trying.

       I’ve tried before, I’ve tried many methods, but have yet to master meditation. Is it something that can be mastered, even with an observant mind like mine: always active, always searching for answers, always trying to find the point of it all.

       Maybe meditation is not about finding the purpose, but simply allowing myself to think about it.

       Perhaps that itself is something to meditate, or pontificate, on.

    © 2024 j.g. lewis

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  • Artifice

    Is it even truth if you are not prepared

    to hear the depth of details? Never.

     

    We live with lies daily. Conspiracy theories 

    and counterfeit counterpoints. Fallacy.

     

    Fake news from another point of view,

    the source or speaker deceitful. Artifice.

     

    Can you look past the mask of indifference?

    Will you recognize what is real? Rarely.

     

     

    © 2024 j.g. lewis

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