refusal

she insists
on finding beauty
     in my madness

a lover, yes
she will not be turned away
         yet I, in my cowardice
         refuse
         her longing
refuse to accept
linear and lyrical poetry

consistency
gentle ways
deep caring eyes
               yet
all I see is compromise

I say I dream
she says she understands
                   how
is that possible
if I don’t
              and don’t want to

conversations
                   between the lines
more pronounced
or definite
     daydreams mid-sentence
     even I
can’t interpret 
                           not
                           wanting
                           the responsibility

  I refuse distractions
             unable to look
beyond a certain end
      below the surface

past bruises and invisible scars

       I have no shame
       in what’s there
hidden more beneath the skin
       I just don’t want to
                    talk about it

©2015 j.g. lewis

This month was all about the poetry.