Approaching the shortest day and the longest night at Winter Solstice, we need to be mindful of the dividing line between darkness and light, negative and positive, and, perhaps, even good or bad.

An effective time for reflection; the end of the calendar year allows us to look closely on what has, or hasn’t, happened over past months.

Now is an especially important time to make notes, or a list, that will help us focus on what has been done, and what needs to be done.

This is an exercise for your self.

Select a piece of writing paper and draw a distinctive line down the middle (either vertically or horizontally). Select one side as dark, the other as light

On the dark side, begin to jot down the secrets, sins, shortcomings and disappointments of the past year. It could be career ambitions that did not develop, financial fortunes fallen flat, goals and plans that never materialized, unresolved relationship issues, mistakes made, unexplained catastrophes, and those concerns that kept you awake at night.

Think, now, of even the minor events and inconsequential inconveniences. Write them down. Don’t prioritize or apply any weight to a specific event or error, just fill in this section of the page with all that has bothered (or has been bothering) you.

Spell out your troubles and leave them on the page. Be reminded, be respectful, but don’t be beholden to them. Leave them where they land.

On the other part of the page, the bright side, begin to list all things worthwhile in your life, yourself, and your surroundings

Celebrate even the smallest achievements or tiny steps forward. Recount feelings and emotions; remember what you have managed to pursue or accomplish despite all the negatives listed on the other side of the paper.

Take pride in the positive.

Then find an envelope, address it to yourself, and place a postage stamp in the corner.

Hold up the freshly-formed list and tear it in the middle, right down the line.

Separate the dark side from the light, distance yourself from all the negative crap you managed to dredge up, and don’t even bother looking at it. Simply crumble up the dark list or place it in the paper shredder. If you want to add a little drama, light a match and burn the words, turn the negative thoughts into ash.*

Now take the positive side of the list, date it, fold it, and tuck it into the envelope. Walk to the post box and send all those positive thoughts ahead to brighter days.

You don’t have to open the envelope when it arrives in your mailbox. Of course you can, but you might also want to tuck the letter into your journal and wait for one of those days when life lets you down and you could use a little positive reinforcement.

Leave the negative thoughts behind and enjoy the ever-increasing lightness as we step forward to a new year.

Solstice blessings.

*please be careful when using matches

© 2018 j.g. lewis

I found a feather on the sidewalk
Delicate. Natural. Out of place
on an urban pathway littered
by disposed-of coffee cups, cigarette butts
scattered carelessly across the landscape, with
pet waste, unabashed ignorance and exhaust fumes;
traces of society’s irresponsibility.
No end in sight. Yet there, without notice,
a treasure waiting to be found,
or witnessed.
All I know is what I see.
I have only heard of Native spirituality and
a belief that when a feather falls to earth
it carries the energy of its owner
to a living being.
                              A gift from the sky.
I sent the feather to a faraway friend,
one who feels she is lost, at times, even
among friends and the familiarity of home.
Gravity keeps her grounded,
but not comfortable.
By her own account, the world weighs heavily,
as it does with each of us, at times.
We all struggle — the fortunate less frequently —
we are all fragile.
You are not human if you are not.
Pulled in many directions, we cannot step forward
when doubt is a distraction and purpose is given,
not discovered. You are not whole
when the words you think will not find a place.
Debt becomes despair.
                                         Neither here nor there.
I sent a feather to a faraway friend, knowing
one feather alone will not repair the damage
that has been done, yet the gift may serve
as a reminder she can still fly.

© 2018 j.g. lewis

I am not hungry,
but starving; this inner need (or want), a craving
for anything pure, authentic,
and nourishing.

A sandwich or salad, unlike
what I have known, or consumed.

Only after I am sufficiently sated
will I be able to do battle another day, or sleep
without these images interrupting this night.
It is dark.

Ego and emotion command
too much space and mind.

Am I yet another ambiguous miracle, or
just another carney hawking candy apples
and games of chance?
Step right up.

The midway is crammed. Lovers
hand-in-hand. A noisy crowd.

Turn off the music.
I can smell the horse shit between the trailers,
sawdust, and aftershave. I can only
taste warm beer.

I need greater nutrition. I suffer
for having paid my admission.

© 2018 j.g. lewis

We are entering the season of giving and, with that, increased annual charitable appeals.

Wherever we are, in all directions, we can look around our communities and see the obvious needs, in so many forms. Society is best measured in how we care for those who cannot care for themselves, and we respond with our time or money.

It is both admirable and appreciated how we give and to which causes, organizations and issues. A contribution is the match that lights a candle and allows hope to burn and radiate. Enjoy the glow. Feel the warmth. Share the light.

I’m humbled to say I give when I can, consistently. I give selflessly and without expectation. It is a value I treasure; a practice I learned and saw demonstrated by my parents. We were fortunate. I was fortunate to have learned this lesson early in life.

Charity. Empathy. Dignity. Respect.

I’ve taken on causes, supported groups and issues, and have seen the results of my giving. I have appreciated being part of a group whom, many times, I had little in common with except we all saw the worth in giving our time or money. That was my reward; seeing some results.

Charity is a wonderful thing.

I was recently notified of the launch of an annual corporate giving campaign I have belonged to for years. We all know a large workforce can raise a great deal of money, very quickly, through focused application. It is a good thing to give as a group.

But what happens when a campaign begins to seem less about giving and supporting a community, and more about promotion of a corporate entity and the benefits it provides within that community?

The emphasis is less about the good it does, and more about being good for business.

A corporation and its attempts to foster giving, to encourage philanthropy, is to be respected.

Charity is a good thing, but the moment it turns into a “look at me” or “look at us” initiative, the lustre is scratched off the patina. Charity should be felt, acknowledged, and furthered, yet a certain value is lost when an initiative or endeavor becomes boastful.

The expectation of recognition, even gratitude, for a donation negates the true purpose of charity. True charity is anonymous.

Silent charity is self-sustaining. It does not require promotion, endless reminders, or pressure. It is organic; both giver and receiver benefit. Charity is a personal thing.

Personally, I can’t support an appeal where the larger focus is on something less than the act of helping fellow human beings. When a charitable act becomes a number, sum, or price tag, the humanity is removed from the equation.

I don’t expect anything from a donation, other than feeling or knowing my contribution helps further a cause or group I believe in. I will contribute to give in my own silent way, each year contributing a little more than the year before, and I will do it directly. I simply, morally, or comfortably cannot support something that makes the giver a bigger focus than the giving.

I encourage you to look at where your charity flows.

Give. Oh yes, give; consciously; as generously as you are able, and as humanely as possible. Enjoy the spirit of giving, and enjoy it selflessly.

© 2018 j.g. lewis

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”
                                                                                                       -Maya Angelou

What happens to the sleep we didn’t get,
words we did not heed, or tears never allowed
to travel down our cheek?
                          Those weeks, or months,
you refuse to speak of; what happened?
Then.
                         What became
of the people we didn’t need, or like,
or replaced? Have you given any thought to
what you meant to them? Once upon a time
fairy tale or delusion.
Shared.
                        Then, remember
the personalities or prospects,
the ones where you didn’t have the self-respect
to introduce yourself to.
                        Where was your confidence,
                        or willingness to bare your soul?
                Easier, is it not, to confide in a stranger?
Those familiar with your ways,
those who have read a few chapters of your story
may not understand
your reservation.
                                                    Someone back when
                       knew you well, wanted to know more,
                       then gave up.
Or was that you?
                       Emotions enrich our lives,
                       as easily as they can destroy
                       all we stay alive for.
           Is that a reason to hold back?
There was once value in vulnerability.
Now; well, you know.
          If you rephrase the question,
          are the answers still the same?
                       Long past a series of coincidences,
                           the obscenity of silence remains.

© 2018 j.g. lewis